Members of the DOOR Association (Association for Children, Fatherhood and the Truth) have been drawing attention to the fact that fathers are discriminated against in divorce proceedings. They have also been pointing out that these procedures are too long and too expensive, and that all this is unacceptable because it causes irreparable emotional, developmental, health and educational damage to children. In the past two years, they have actively been bringing attention to this problem, including in specific cases, and Slovenian fathers who have been falsely accused or convicted in the past have also gathered at protest rallies.
The association also pointed out that only three percent of single fathers are treated equally as their female counterparts. This is also written in the Dictionary of the Slovenian Language – a single father is “a person who takes care of a child, children; only three percent of fathers are single parents; the society has already largely changed its view of single parents.”
Balanced parenting is the best option for children when their parents separate, and a system similar to the Slovenian one can definitely work to their benefit. However, it is a well-known fact that the vast majority of Slovenian family courts have judges who discriminate against fathers.
Children who also have a father present in their life are mostly more successful in life
International research has shown that in the end, it is really the children who are the victims of the unfair system. The study included both children cared for by both parents after divorce, as well as children raised in a single-parent family (mostly by single mothers) after divorce. According to the research, the children who were being raised by both parents were more successful in all aspects of life. It is therefore important that in the event of a divorce, both parents remain involved in the child’s development.
The harm that is done to a child after a divorce is not a result of the divorce itself. The harm is done when one of the parents (mostly this is the father) is no longer involved in the child’s life.
Divorce proceedings to establish custody and contacts that parents (usually the father) can have with their children are lengthy, costly, and discriminatory. They often last for six or more years. As a rule, the annual cost for a parent, who needs to pay for a lawyer and experts, exceeds 10 thousand euros. However, in the end, more than 90 percent of children are assigned to mothers. Many fathers stop fighting for their children because they run out of money, lose their health, or lose legal interest as children come of age. In whose interest is it to continue this exhausting struggle of parents for something that is not divisible at all?
Namely, the system shows the “sharing” of the child as a situation in which it must be decided who will win and who will lose, even though the decision being made is actually about the child’s life. Co-parenting is, therefore, the best solution for children after divorce.
Sara Kovač
